Oh Elmo!

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Is It Too Early For Michael Jackson Jokes?

* Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macully Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.

* Because Jackson’s body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into lego, this way kids can play with him for a change.

* Reports that Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack in his home are untrue… He actually died having a stroke in the children’s ward.

* In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim.

* In accordance with Michael Jackson’s will, little boys’ pants shall be flown at half-mast today.

* Doctors are looking into claims that MJ’s death could have been caused by an allergic reaction from eating 12 year old nuts.

* I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating a 5 year old wiener.

* Micheal Jackson will always be with us… he is not biodegradable.

* MJ’s dying wish was to be melted down and turned into straws so he can still get sucked on by kids.

* It has been released that MJ's last wish was that he wants to be melted down and made into a slide so kids can go down on him forever.

* In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new“McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.

* Michael Jackson’s ashes are going to be put in an Etch A Sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob.

* Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!

* Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!”

The Ultimate Three Headed Monster!

I am addicted to watching these baby Peregrine Falcons. They are so adorable!

Ladies Day at the Stadium

Let me tell you that 2 -3 hours of football drills is not for the faint of heart. I am so sore today that my pain has pain! I had an amazing time and will definitely do it again next year. Highlights of the day had to be playing catch with our QB, Ryan Dinwiddy and receiving some excellent tips and tricks from receiver, Adarius Bowman and Defensive End, Gavin Walls.

My moment of Zen, however, is in the post below. That picture deserved its very own post since that is my football hero, Doug Brown. He is very tall and his arm is very heavy!

The second best part of the day had to be the locker room tour. I've been in there before but haven't seen any more than the locker area before yesterday. Many photos below the fold for the benefit of those with slower connections. Clicky the pictures for uber-size.

I will finish what I start...
The showers...


The infamous vertical jump test. Each year someone sticks a fifty in the ceiling and whoever can jump and grab it gets to keep it.

Hundreds of jerseys...



The weight room...

The locker room...

Shoulder Pads...

Naked Helmets...

Jocks...Note the sizing...

Me and my shadow in the end zone...




The view from center field with my fish-eye lens...

And finally, the view from the very top of the stadium seating...

Guess Our Heights

Guess What I'm DoingTomorrow?

Pictures to follow...I'm sure.

Counting Down the Days...

I'm Running! I'm Running! I'm (almost) Naked!

(Title shamelessly stolen from this blog's namesake, Invader Zim)

It doesn't seem to matter what the occasion is or where we're going...Women always ask the same question...What should I wear? So riddle me this Batman...What does a girl wear to a 5km race on May 9th when she wakes up to find it's fucking snowing outside?! The answer is too much. I'm glad I don't have any photos of myself from today because it was laughable. I stated with long johns - tops and bottoms because once my muscles get cold I'm done for. Then I added the usual running shirt and pants and topped it off with an extra cotton shirt, rain jacket, mitts, and touque over my ball cap.

I was a sweaty, snow-covered mess by the end of the run. May I also add that I finished the 5km in 36 minutes which is pretty good for me considering I run pretty slow at the best of times.


Sadly the venue we were at had no official bathroom, just port-a potties, and I'll get to that in a minute, so I had to change in my very small car after the race. I got trapped in my long underwear top for about 60 seconds or so and I really hope no one saw that struggle as I can only imagine how pathetic it looked. In the end I learned that it is not easy to strip down to your sports bra in a Honda Fit and I probably should have just swallowed my modesty and done it outside the car.

I would have changed in the port-a-pottie except that they now come equipped with urinals beside the toilet seat which leaves little room for spacial error when maneuvering one's clothing. The last thing I needed was my clean shirt falling into that filth. I don't get it - If you've got the gaping toilet seat hole, what do you need a urinal for?

Anyways all of this effort to have a clean and flowery smelling shirt on did have a purpose. In addition to running for a good cause and raising $218.00 in pledges, I also had the added luck, and possible ulterior motive, of satiating my Doug Brown fix as he was scheduled to be there.


So in the end, I got my bib signed which was super cool and I finished my first race of the year which is also amazing. Just think, 18 months ago I had just quit smoking and could barely run across the street. If I have learned anything, it's that I am one determined and stubborn chick when I put my mind to it.

Sunscreen & Tank Tops

The snow has finally melted and Spring seems to have taken hold in Southern Manitoba and I couldn't be happier about it. I think I was starting to go a little more psychotic than usual from being cooped up inside for so long. So it's back to running out of doors instead of on the far too narrow treadmill and wearing tank tops and sunscreen instead of toques and boots. YAY!

I'll be running in my first race of the year this coming Saturday. It's the 3rd annual Andrew Dunn Memorial race. All proceeds go to the Mood Disorders Association of MB and so far I've raised nearly $200.00 to a cause that is near and dear to my own heart. I'll be running the 5km race and expect to finish without any problems unlike last years 8 km race which was far beyond my abilities.

Spring also means the resumption of photography. More so now that training camp is only one month away! But I digress - I recently purchased a new 50 mm lens for my camera. It takes amazing pictures and I'm looking forward to using it at the stadium for some cool depth of field shots. For now all you get is cats!

Guess Who's Back

She was replaced with the worst nativity scene ever over the winter, which I sadly neglected to photograph, but now she's back and still without panties by the look of things. But man are those some snazzy shoes...



It's fitting that she should turn up now as I think I've located her long lost daughter in the tree that stands in front in my apartment. That baby is slightly higher than the third floor. I keep waiting for a strong wind to rock-a-bye her out of the tree but she's been there for over a week now. I have a perfectly parallel view of her from my computer desk and it's very creepy.

Online Nuclear Incest

Clicky for full size...

Well Duh...Everything Looks Better On Fire!

Happy Endings

What's A Barking Spider and Why Would You Name Your Football Team That?

So it seems I have found a new home with The Barking Spiders. I can't wait until we play those bitches on Saxx. Makes me wish it was tackle instead of touch football. And check out how nice the captain is...She doesn't care that I apparently suck and have no skills whatsoever.

Hi Lynn, yes absolutely we would love to have you, we are always looking for players especially ones who are committed to practices. If your still interested we are hoping to have our first practice next Monday the 27th if your available...If I hear back from you I will let you know where and when were going to practice once we decide and provided the weather holds up. thanks and hope to hear from you soon :)
Adrian

But What Does It Mean?

So last night I dreamed that I had a third cat. I often dream about getting new cats - usually kittens and then something goes horribly wrong in my dream. Sometimes my cats eat the new kitten or other assorted atrocities that I can't quite recall.

Last night's dream was particularly vivid. The new cat was a pretty little adult gray tabby. The kitty was getting along just fine in my dream when all of a sudden the cat was sitting inside of my oven on one of the racks. The oven was on as I was making dinner and she was just sitting there staring out the little oven window fine as could be. Apparently she was fire proof because I left her in there until my dinner was done cooking and she hopped out without a singe on her.

The suddenly she was gone and I was in a different apartment which also doubled as a demented koi pond because the entire apartment was filled with six inches of water and all kinds of fishes swimming around my submerged feet. The kitties really liked the fish but not the water.