WINNIPEG , MANITOBA (CP) -A seven-year-old Winnipeg , Manitoba boy was at the center of a Winnipeg city courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy alleged they had also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, whom the boy and judge both firmly believe are not capable of beating anyone.
My Bombers are finally starting to get their shit together...Here's the play of the game from our last home game. Missed field goal for a TD...Beauty! Check the very last block that sprang Jovon free...That was the kicker getting his ass handed to him!
10. Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly? 9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm? 8. Come on up and see me urchins. 7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you. 6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon. 5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole? 4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder? 3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free. 2. Well blow me down? And the number one pirate pickup line is… 1. Avast! Prepare to be boarded!
Here's hoping I don't hook up with a bunch of bad boys like I did last year, or get punched out by a Rider fan, drink to the point of regurgitation, or anything else unspeakably horrible. I do believe the big game will be aired on ESPN360.com in the States if any of my American peeps are interested in seeing what real football looks like ;-)
Why wasn't Jesus born in Saskatchewan? Because they couldn't find three wise-men and a virgin.
A ventriloquist was making fun of Roughrider fans with his dummy at a bar. Then an angry rider fan stood up, rolled up his sleeves ,and yelled, "I resent that!"
The ventriloquist started apologizing to the rider fan.
The rider fan looked at him and said, " You stay outta this, I''m talking to the guy on your lap!!!!
You Might Be a Rider fan if…
You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. You burn your yard rather than mow it. The Salvation Army declines your mattress. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. You come back from the dump with more than you took. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. Your grandmother has “ammo” on her Christmas list. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. You have a rag for a gas cap. Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say “Cool Whip” on the side. The biggest city you’ve ever been to is Wal-Mart. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements. You’ve used a toilet brush to scratch your back. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph. And last, but not least… Somebody tells you that you’ve got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!
Just posted at Riderfans.com:
Quote: FER SAIL
Kustum maid wun holer Outhouse 3ft X 4ft X 7ft tall wif lokin dore Xtras inklud: shef fer Searz katalog or nuzepapurz; small box fer korn kobs; baskit fer tha slik pages outa tha katalog. No lites, no hete, no water. Opshun: wif or wifout vint krax fer kross vinalashun Kontak us fer kost an shipin.
Three Rider fans are sitting on a porch. One says, ''My wife has got to be the dumbest. She's so stupid she went shoppin' today and bought an air-conditioner and we don't even have electricity!"
The others laugh.
The next Rider fan says, "Ah that ain't nothin'! My wife's dumber - she went shoppin' yesterday and had a washin' machine delivered!"
They all laughed and laughed because no one had plumbing.
The third Rider fan said, "Well, I reckon my woman has got to be the dumbest. Just this mornin' I was looking though her purse for some chewin' tobacco and I found six rubbers. Hell, she ain't got no dick!"
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Saskatchewan Roughriders are good enough to win the Grey Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
